Polyamory and polyfidelity, or poly for short, is about having multiple romantic relationships. This can be with the knowledge, permission, and/or practice of a partner and their other partners, or without others knowing about their other relationships.
Some poly people are solo poly; they have no committed relationships. Others have one or more committed relationships. Societal norms tend to be monogamous (i.e., the norm is that people have only one romantic relationship), but this may not be best for fulfilling people’s emotional needs. Is polyamory with a monogamous partner possible? In this article we will explain this question.
Is Polyamory With A Monogamous Partner Possible?
Yes, polyamory is possible with a monogamous partner. This is called “Vee” in polyamory relationships. Vee stands for “Verified Ethical Emotional Fidelity”. That means that you are ethically and emotionally committed to each other, but your partner(s) have free reign to have romantic and/or sexual relationships outside of the Vee relationship.
Tips for Making a Polyamory Relationship Work
Be Honest And Direct
When you’re in a polyamorous relationship, you need to be honest and direct with your partner(s) and yourself. If it’s not something you want, you’ve got to say so. If it is, you need to make sure they know it and want the same thing. Having multiple partners means having multiple relationships, and because of that, it’s all the more important that everyone involved understands how everyone else feels and where everything stands. You’re all going to have to communicate as much as possible.
The key here is understanding that polyamory is about love, openness, honesty—and communication above all else. It’s not about being able to date or sleep with as many people as possible; it’s about allowing yourself to feel love for more than one person at once. You need to be brave enough to tell your partner(s) how you feel before things go wrong or fall apart. You should also be able to discuss things openly with your friends, family, and your partner(s).
Establish Trust
Establishing trust is the most important part of maintaining a polyamorous relationship. The foundation of trust allows all the partners to feel secure, because they can be sure that the other people in their relationship won’t hurt them by cheating or emotionally hurting them by neglecting them.
Make Sure Everyone Is Comfortable
The most important thing is making sure everyone involved in a polyamorous relationship is comfortable with it. If someone in the relationship isn’t comfortable with the idea of it, either because they’re not ready for a serious relationship or because they’re not interested in being in one at all, then that person should not be pressured into being in a polyamorous relationship.
The easiest way to tell if someone is open to the idea of being in a polyamorous relationship is by talking about it and making sure everyone is on board with its basic tenets. Make sure that everyone knows what they’re getting into and that there aren’t any misunderstandings about what this means for their lives and relationships.
Set Expectations Before Dating And Speaking With Other Partners
When you’re in an open relationship with someone, it’s important to set some ground rules from the start to ensure that you both feel comfortable with how things operate. Whether you’re just dating or are already living together, it’s easy to get swept away in the excitement of a new relationship without putting some time into nailing down details of your arrangement. It’s worthwhile to take some time to set expectations early on because by doing so you can avoid a lot of awkwardness and resentment later on down the road.
Know That Jealousy Is Normal And Communicative
It’s no surprise that jealousy is something you’ll deal with when you’re in a polyamorous relationship. It’s something you’ll deal with even if you’re not in one, but it’s more pronounced in a polyamorous system for obvious reasons. Jealousy is normal, but it’s also important to know that it’s not always rational and that there are ways to deal with it.
Respect Yourself And Others
As in any relationship, it is important to be respectful in the Polyamory relationship type. You should be respectful to the wishes and opinions of your partners. In this way, you can have a longer-term and strong Polyamory relationship.
Have Rules In Place For Safe Sex And Emotional Health
The best way to make this work is to have rules in place for safe sex and emotional health. You should be able to talk about each other’s needs and desires at any point in time, but you can’t control the feelings of another person.
If you know that your partner is having misgivings about the arrangement or if there are things that they need or want, taking steps to address those issues will allow everyone to feel more secure in their commitment and happiness in the relationship.
This way, you’ll know what is expected of each person without having to ask every single time, which helps both partners avoid feeling like they’re being interrogated.
Having these rules will also help you guide each other when someone starts becoming emotionally upset or jealous—you’ll both know what kinds of things are acceptable and how far you can go before it starts feeling uncomfortable for one of you.
Communicate What Your Limits Are
It can be very difficult to navigate a polyamorous relationship at first, since there are so many potential pitfalls to watch out for. One of the best rules of thumb is to make sure you and your partner(s) are on the same page about what is and isn’t okay in your relationship.
If you don’t have the same limits, it’s going to be much harder to keep your relationship healthy and happy. For example, some people might find it okay for their boyfriend or girlfriend to hookup with one other person, but would draw the line at having two or more partners—others may only want to date other people instead of engaging in any kind of physical contact with them.
It’s important to communicate these boundaries early on so you can make sure you’re comfortable with how things are going, rather than finding out later that your partner(s) aren’t on the same page as you.
It’s also very important to understand that these boundaries aren’t set in stone—sometimes after dating someone for a while you’ll realize that one thing is okay in theory but not okay when it comes up in practice.
That’s it for now from our “Is Polyamory With A Monogamous Partner Possible?” content! You can stay tuned for more content like this.
