How to Ask a Girl to be Friends With Benefits

ask girl fwb

Picture this: among your outer circle of friends, there’s this girl that you’ve been eyeing on for quite a while now. She’s insanely hot, is fun to be around, and is exactly your type. You’ve been somewhat close with her for quite some time now, and you’re looking to get even closer, but you don’t want any commitments – basically, you wanna fuck her.

But how exactly are you supposed to do that? In truth, it boils down to a couple of things – one, everything that has happened between you two before “asking”, and two, the asking itself. Knowing exactly how to ask a girl is very important, but what you’ve done with her until that point is very crucial, too.

So, if you want to take your friendship to the next level, here are some tips on how to “ask” that girl out for some good old-fashioned sexy time.

Before “Asking”

Now before you approach the girl, you gotta make sure that you’ve already got a good shot at succeeding. You can’t just walk up to Rebecca from down the street and ask her bluntly, even though all you’ve done with her was attend Bible study sessions back in elementary. There are very important factors that can greatly affect your chances, so pay attention.

1. You’re friends with her

This can sound like a no-brainer, but a lot of people still misuse the term “Friends with Benefits”. You actually have to be friends with them before initiating the relationship. If you’re looking to regularly have sex with someone you haven’t met before, then that’s considered a fuck buddy. Truth be told, these terms are very vague, so it’s understandable why they are often used interchangeably. Just pointing out a technicality here.

2. You’ve had sex before

Wait, what? Isn’t this the reason why you’re asking to become Friends with Benefits in the first place? Well, yes, but it’s not as simple as that. You see, we’re talking about Friends with Benefits here, and banging someone that you already know is very different from a hook up with a stranger on Tinder. You’ll have to first break down the barriers of a normal friendship to slide into FWB status.

And the best way to do that? Well, sex, of course! Now, you obviously shouldn’t try forcing it on someone you haven’t done it with. But chances are that the reason you’re even contemplating about “asking” in the first place is because you’ve already ended up going a bit too far with the girl (with a good chance that alcohol was involved). You can technically still shoot your shot even without this “bonus”, but the added sexual tension between you two helps a lot.


You’ll notice that up until this point, I’ve put quotation marks on “asking”. And that’s because, in truth, you don’t literally ASK the girl – in fact, you shouldn’t. This isn’t a business deal – you’ll most likely get rejected by how corporate-sounding you are. So how do you “ask”, you ask? You flirt.

First, invite them out to drink – this is the perfect place for hookups to happen. The next time you meet them, throw in subtle and not-so-subtle jokes about sex (if you had a one-night-stand with them this is where it comes in handy). Show your apparent interest in a casual relationship, especially with them – but not too obviously.

Once you think they get the message, and they look like they’re agreeing, you can start to act more aggressively, maybe with a kiss or something that just screams “let’s fuck”. If you’re successful, congratulations, you’ve got yourself a Friend With Benefits!

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