Many different question marks arise in people’s minds when it comes to polyamory. In fact, there are those who know this type of relationship only as a multi-sex relationship. However, contrary to what is thought, the Polyamory relationship type is a type of relationship in which both emotional and sexuality exist with multiple people.
At the same time, there are mistakes made by many people when starting a Polyamory relationship. That’s why, in today’s article, we’re going to explain 10 mistakes you shouldn’t make when starting this relationship.
1: Don’t See The Person You’ve Just Met As A Sex Object
It’s important to remember that just because someone is polyamorous doesn’t mean they are a sex worker. In fact, most polyamorous people are not sex workers. They are individuals who have relationships with more than one person at a time.
Although it’s true that some non-monogamous folks engage in casual sex in the same way that some people do monogamous dating, those who engage in casual non-monogamous sexual encounters rarely do so without first establishing meaningful relationships with their partners.
2: Don’t Try To Get The Person You Just Met In Bed – Get To Know That Person First
Don’t try to get them into bed right away. There will be plenty of time for that later. Poly people still have the same need for emotional and physical intimacy as anyone else, but if you try to rush things, it can make your partner feel uncomfortable, rushed, and pressured.
If they’re anything like me, they’ll also be feeling insecure about whether you’re only interested in them because they’re poly and you want to date several people at once.
3: Do Not Assume Your Partner Will Automatically Be Jealous Of Your Other Partners
Polyamory is not cheating—it’s an open, honest relationship. You should never worry that your partner will be jealous of your other partners, because they won’t be. If you’re dating someone who has a clear understanding of what polyamory is and how it works and they’ve agreed to be non-monogamous, then jealousy isn’t part of the equation.
That doesn’t mean that they’re not still capable of feeling hurt or upset by certain actions—but if they do, it will be due to something relevant to their relationship with you, rather than just feeling betrayed because they found out you were also dating someone else.
4: Do Not Expect That Just Because Your Partner Is Polyamorous, You Can Have More Sexual Partners
The truth is, the number of sexual partners that a person has is completely unrelated to whether or not they are polyamorous. Being polyamorous means that you have multiple romantic partners—and this doesn’t just mean that you’re allowed to have sex with more than one partner; it means that you are allowed to be in emotional relationships with many people.
In fact, if your partner is polyamorous, their romantic relationships might end up being exactly like yours: they could be monogamous and only have one partner at a time, or they could be polyamorous and be dating several different partners at once.
There isn’t any difference between how many other people they date and how many other people you date, because being in a romantic relationship with someone doesn’t necessarily mean that sex is involved.
5: Do Not Assume A Polyamorous Person Will Want To Engage In Group Sex Or Sex With Multiple Partners At The Same Time
Polyamory isn’t about having as much sex as possible; it’s about having meaningful connections with multiple people. If you expect your poly partner to want to engage in group sex or sex with multiple partners at the same time, you will likely be disappointed and puzzled if they don’t agree to this kind of arrangement.
Poly individuals often have long-term primary relationships with one person or a small number of people; outside of those primary relationships, they may have additional relationships that are sexual, romantic, or both. With other partners, they may have emotional ties or not—it depends on their individual preferences.
6: Do Not Assume A Polyamorous Person Will Want To Start A Relationship With All Of Your Partners
When you’re dating a polyamorous person, one of the things you mustn’t do is assume that he or she will want to start a relationship with all of your partners. Not only could this be a violation of boundaries for the polyamorous person—who may not want to be in a committed relationship with all of your partners—but it’s also just plain rude.
You don’t want to interfere in another couple’s relationship, nor do you want anyone else doing so with yours. Your partner might not like the idea of his new girlfriend getting along with his ex, or vice versa; he might like the idea of having two girlfriends but not three; whatever his reasoning, it’s entirely up to him.
Just as you wouldn’t want your boyfriend deciding suddenly that he wanted to take on both of your best friends as well, you have to respect the fact that your partner can’t always anticipate how much time and energy he has for maintaining new relationships.
7: Do Not Assume A Polyamorous Person’s Life Is One Big Orgy And That You’ll Have Constant Access To New Sexual Partners
When someone tells you they’re polyamorous, it doesn’t necessarily mean you can expect to have a new lover every night of the week. Polyamory is more than the practice of sleeping with multiple people in a non-monogamous relationship. It’s about being able to be affectionate and loving to multiple people at once.
That doesn’t mean that all polyamorous people have multiple partners—it’s pretty common for people to be in a relationship with just one other person. It means not expecting them to be with every other person they know just because they’re open to multiple relationships. It means giving them the space and respect to decide who they want to be with without feeling pressure or guilt about choosing one partner over another.
8: Do Not Bring Up Your Partner’s Ex-partners, Especially If It’s Meant As An Insult
One thing to not do when dating a polyamorous person is to bring up their exes. Especially if it’s meant as an insult. A lot of people seem to think that bringing up an ex is somehow going to help them. It won’t, and it will make the person feel bad. It’s also rude.
9: Don’t Forget About Safe Sex
When you’re dating someone who has multiple partners, safe sex is more important than ever—and that means more than just doing the obvious things like wearing a condom and avoiding STIs.
A person with multiple partners can also be at risk for contracting a communicable disease from one partner, then passing it from one person to another, or even back again. It’s especially important to make sure you use protection if you’re sleeping with both people in a couple or a group of people, because those are situations where diseases could spread more easily.
10: Do Not Be Jealous Of Your Partner’s Other Partners
When you’re dating someone who is polyamorous, you may feel hurt by the fact that they spend so much time with their other partners. You might think that they spend more time with their other partner(s) than with you, or that they prefer being around them and not being around you.
This could make you think that your partner doesn’t love or care about you as much as they do for their other partners. It’s important to remember that all relationships are different.
That’s it for now from our “10 Things Do Not Do When Dating A Polyamorous Person” content! You can stay tuned for more content like this.